Most film musicals, even in a age of “Glee,” still face that ungainly impulse when somebody — contend her name is “Sherrie Christian” — roving a Greyhound, bursts into “Motoring” by Night Ranger, and a rest of a train bursts in to join her for a chorus.

Audiences currently giggle during that. But we magnitude a film by how fast we get over it.

“Rock of Ages,” a big-screen chronicle of a jukebox low-pitched set to ’80s “hair metal” anthems and ballads, never does. The all-star expel is game, though a filmmakers can’t stop winking and derisive a mockable song and a epoch prolonged adequate to let a picture, built around over-the-top tunes by Foreigner, Bon Jovi, Journey and others, compensate off.

It’s adequate to make we “stop believin’.”

Tom Cruise, as burnt-out rocker Stacee Jaxx, will do his best Axl Rose sense — bare-chested belting, fluttering a mike-stand decorated in scarves — or Diego Boneta, determined steel singer, will rip into Foreigner’s “One Guitar,” or Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand and a rest of a expel blast “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll,” and executive Alan Shankman (“Hairspray”) will go for some inexpensive giggle and definitely undercut a moment.

Maybe a music, a fashion, a whole covetous testosterone vibe of that spandex, eye-shadow, poodle-haired epoch is laughable. But it’s one thing to poke fun during something, utterly another to conflict it with complete contempt. That’s a feel here.

You will be vacant during a actors who take on singing, mostly for a initial time onscreen (Baldwin, Malin Akerman as a voluptuous Rolling Stone reporter, Paul Giamatti as Stacee’s cheap manager) and don’t confuse themselves. Cruise, in particular, is a wandering pleasure to watch, all jewel-encrusted dragon’s conduct codpiece, buttless chaps and self-serious inebriated swagger.

But a songs, with a few exceptions, miss a coercion of a strange renditions. The leads (Hough and Boneta) are so tasteless and thin-voiced that they seem out of step with 1987, even if they’re accurately what we get from cocktail stars in a Auto-tune era.

You will be dumbfounded during how leg-spreadingly wanton (fitting a MTV of a times, and a music) a PG-13 film can be. Miami was easily dressed down for a film anticipation chronicle of Sunset Strip in a ’80s — coarse leather and neon and sports cars and muggers.

But seriously, Brother Shankman, what’s a indicate of creation “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll: The Musical,” if we don’t?

ROCK OF AGES

2 stars

Cast: Tom Cruise, Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Mary J. Blige, Malin Akerman

Directed by Adam Shankman, created by Chris D’Arienzo, Justin Theroux and Allan Loeb, formed on D’Arienzo’s theatre musical.

Running time: 2:03

MPAA: PG-13 for passionate content, revealing dancing, some complicated drinking, and denunciation