Will someone greatfully tell me given this past week’s Glee sip was a double episode? we imagined, like any lucid person, that this was a deteriorate finale. But no, apparently there’s one some-more raise of Glee for us subsequent week. Regardless, given no one should have to summation dual hours of Glee in one week, I’m stepping in for a summation of “Props” and Riese will reason your hand, as usual, by “Nationals.”

We open on a “That’s What You Missed On Glee” Guy reminding us all that Tina exists and, given Glee is during times painfully self-aware, all about how no one gives her any attention. we suppose a approach a source for this part went down was someone in a writers room was like, “Shit. If we don’t do an part about Tina Cohen-Chang soon, Jenna Ushkowitz competence quit withdrawal us yet any womanlike characters who aren’t graduating.” Then, we assume, everybody satisfied that they forgot to give Tina any backstory whatsoever over a feign stumble and rounding a bases with Mike Chang. Then Ryan Murphy stood on tip of a chair and announced his fantastic suspicion to do an part that seems like it’s going to be about Tina yet is indeed about Rachel. I’m removing forward of myself. We’ll get there. Let’s do this.

Sue, who a uncover would like to remind we is assisting a Glee Club in method to keep her position as manager of Cheerios or something, is insane about Unique’s success as a high propagandize uncover choir sensation. Unique, keeps being referred to as a he/she– that creates me wish to twist adult and die– given clearly Ryan Murphy never suspicion to pin down either Unique was a drag black or a transwoman and take a time to Google a immeasurable disproportion between a two.

I LOVE THAT SHOW CHOIR MONTHLY IS FREE

So that’s going on. Sue has motionless that Unique is fundamentally a good “prop,” that is a bizarre brew of deletion and objectifiction (OMG IT’S THE TITLE), and therefore Kurt has to wear a dress a perform as “Porcelina.”

DON’T LAUGH, THIS WAS A VERY FANCY PROM DRESS IN 1920

Even yet Kurt has regularly voiced seductiveness in drag/high fashion/breaking gender norms/wearing a kilt, this is usually too much. Show choir drag? Nuh uh. Cue lovable flashback to Kurt Blaine as Snookie that other man for Halloween

I FEEL LIKE THEY REALLY COMMITTED TO THE BACKGROUND HERE

Back on Rachel Berry 2.0 (the Rachel who wouldn’t come adult with 6 behind adult skeleton and also is removing married to some dweeb) sings Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up” about losing out on NYAYAYAYDADA. I’ve never indeed listened a strange yet we puncture this strain and Lea kills it. Unfortunately we spent many of each time we watch a strain meditative about how identical her hair is to cave in college. Maybe we should grow it out again. Or cut it. I’m sleepy of being in this center place with my hair, we know?

WHEN we WAS IN LIKE 1ST GRADE we TOOK MY SCHOOL PHOTO “DUAL IMAGE STYLE” AND IT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THIS EXCEPT we WAS SIX

Oh and Rachel called Whoopi Goldberg for a millionth time to entice her to Nationals in Chicago instead of usually seeking her to, we don’t know — look, we don’t indeed know how behaving humanities colleges work, yet I’m positive that this isn’t it.

IS YOU REFRIGERATOR RUNNING?

Right so, in a enchanting land of a Choir Room, Mr. Schue writes NATIONALS on a whiteboard (which is a sum rubbish of propagandize resources) and everybody cheers. Instead of vouchsafing Brittany and Santana sing “Somebody to Love,” a New Directions are going to (duh) do a whole new set-up of songs. “Paradise by a Dashboard Light” will flog a organisation off, followed by Rachel singing “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” and (thank god) a Troubletones song. Don’t worry, this is usually a teaser, nothing of these songs get sung in this episode.

SERIOUSLY FUCK THIS

Sue suggests Kurt sing in drag for a Troubletones delivery of “What a Feeling” finish with welding face shields and leg warmers. ‘Cause we gotta get a gimmick. Right girls?

Sue’s suspicion to get some props is not usually awful and terrible yet also totally original. No one during McKinley High has ever dared used props.

NOT HERE

NOT HERE

AND DEFINITELY NOT HERE

Mr. Schue wants to make certain everybody is putting in their darned hardest work to win during Nationals because, good if there are 98,817 high schools in American and let’s contend one-tenth of them have uncover choirs, afterwards that’s 9,882 uncover choirs around a country. If Sectionals are a foe between 3 schools afterwards 3,294 sectional winning schools go to Regionals. Thus, given Reigonals is also a foe between 3 schools, 1,098 schools contingency be competing during Nationals. Holy shit! Everyone improved have their organisation work diversion face on.

Womp womp. Tina does not have her diversion face on.

MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA!

She’s pissed given she never gets solos (which is true), not even in a jive “weekly assignments” that a kids rubbish their profitable sec/reg/nationals prepping time on. Rachel always gets a solos! Unfair! “I’m usually a tellurian prop.” Oh my God there’s a pretension again!

Mike Chang is like WTF TINA SHUT UP given Rachel is a comparison and seniors get a solos. Hm. That didn’t seem to matter a lick when Rachel was a sophomore.

ACTUALLY ITS REALLY HARD TO FIND A PICTURE OF MIKE CHANG ANGRY

Real talk, Jenna Ushkowitz has an glorious voice. She unequivocally should be removing some-more solos. Unfortunately when Lea Michele sings even a birds stop to listen. You know who should indeed be carrying this uncanny out? Blaine or Kurt or Puck! Because Finn, who we know will be given a masculine solo, unequivocally actually, technically, can’t unequivocally sing. And we hatred his face. Honestly though, it’s high school, and if we schooled anything from Pep Band, Jazz Band and Wind Ensemble, it’s that teachers play favorites and seniors get solos. Duh-done.

Rachel storms out after Tina (because nobody storms out like Rachel storms out) and drops some aged propagandize Rachel Version 1.0 by charity Tina $50 to lay down and close up. Also Rachel’s like wah wah wah you have no suspicion how tough it is it run a million clubs we’ve never seen, sing each day and keep her beloved happy and stuff.

THE PHRASE PHYSICALLY SATISFIED MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT EVERYWHERE

She also has to blow dry and prosaic iron those bangs each day. Every singular day. But Tina’s all, “Nah, we usually wish to be we for a moment” that during slightest explains her transition from punk/goth to arrange of retro.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS… WHEN THIS SHOW MADE SENSE AT ALL

Now let’s go to a mall! Kurt and Blaine are enjoying chair massages and reiterating once again that being happy doesn’t meant we also wish to do drag/are transgender (because Glee continues to conflate these identities or something, we mean, whatever they’re doing, they’re doing it wrong). Also they’re going to suffer a prohibited pretzel that usually unequivocally creates me wish a prohibited pretzel. Funny how pretzels work like that.

I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT HOT PRETZEL IS A EUPHAMISM FOR GAY SEX.

Meanwhile Tina is texting while walking (DANGER DANGER) and falls in to a fountain and bumps her conduct that looks like a many unpleasant shit ever and we had to demeanour divided each time we watched it. The strike triggers a Glee Freaky Friday switcheroo.

So now Tina is Rachel and also wet.

AND ALSO MINNIE MOUSE

Same dealio for Santana and Artie, Blaine and Puck, Kurt and Finn, Mercedes and Brittany, Mike and Teen Jesus, Quinn and Sugar, Trouty Mouth and a Glee Project Irish Kid and, of course, Will and Sue.

ORIGIONALLY AN ADORABLE SET OF GIFS AT ELISEGRON-S.TUMBLR.COM

Most importantly/revoltingly a Santana/Artie switch formula in Artie sporting a ponytail that reminded me of when we see a passed squirrel on a behind highway in Western Mass that was usually maybe killed with a BB Gun. Also it meant that Santana had like a weirdly sexy/cut menswear getup on. Santana can do no wrong. Also she totally looks like Rashida Jones in Out Idiot Brother that we didn’t see yet Grace positive me had lesbians in it.

Also we feel like Punk/Finn’s interpretation of Blaine/Kurt’s attribute reminded me that we adore Darren Criss now and forever.

FINN LOOKS LIKE A TRASH MONSTER.

Now that she’s a star of a Glee Club, Tina-as-Rachel sings “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion that we totally desired because, guys, I’m a tip Celine Dion fan. Totally and completely. Technically though, a genuine Tina still hasn’t had a estimable singing impulse given “ABC” in Hold on to Sixteen.

THIS IS A LEGITIMATELY NOT BAD RACHEL BERRY IMPERSONATION

Quinn’s chronicle of Sugar is totes adorbs and somewhat gay.

VIA MISTERAGRON.TUMBLR.COM

Also Tina’s wig totally has me meditative about my possess hair again. But that’s conjunction here nor there. So evidence a throng amatory it and a station ovation.

THIS IS WAY MORE ACTION THAN WE SEE FROM BRITTANA IN REAL LIFE

Post-standing-ovation, Tina-as-Rachel goes adult to Rachel-as-Tina and tells her all about what a smashing fill-in thespian she unequivocally is and how many she means to a group. Rachel-as-Tina tells Tina-as-Rachel to follow her NYAYAYAYDAADADA dreams and petiole that song highbrow some more. Lea creates a weirdly prohibited goth beteedubs and her fabrication of Tina is unequivocally pointed and also perfect.

With that, a dream method ends. we suspicion it competence go all episode. So yeah, Tina didn’t indeed need a genuine reparation from anyone to make her feel better, usually like a uncanny self reparation from herself to herself arrange of. we consider this is arrange of like how infrequently when you’re unequivocally insane during someone and wish them to apologize, infrequently if we apologize to them it creates we feel improved anyways.

YEAH TINA, THIS IS HOW we FEEL ABOUT THIS EPISODE TOO

I consider it’s time for me to switch from immature tea to lemon zinger and for a page break.

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